*Akon's Lonely ringing in my ear* haihz...Uncle Tham (inside joke)
It's funny how people come and go all the time. Well not that funny. During war, as strong as we all are, no one gets left behind. I guess that's why we all dread to make the decision to go our separate ways...separate lives. Who's to watch our back? Who's to listen to our stories? Who's to share our beer with?
Everybody's leaving...gone to register at other camps. Soon it will just me keeping myself company...like an old rusty rifle with his lost blind hunter. Irrelevant? Well, that's how I see things. Not knowing where am I or where to go. I feel so disorientated. (Pardon the pun if it's even perceivable) I do have a dream; even blind man can. I'm doing all I can to make it happen. But sometimes it's one thing to try and another thing to 'can'. Classic case of I would if I could.
I mean I do have the opportunity not many is given. It's there. It's here. But so unreachable. Just as though a float in front of a drowning man (me) is constantly being pulled away by ferocious currents. And the rescuers at the shore won't want to do anything until I absolutely turn blue before they will consider pulling the gigantic plug out of the river. And they wont even rush to resuscitate me! Probably just to dry me first.
Damn...I just wish I have a clue. I just cant wait any longer...I'm doing my best to shoot for the moon. But my dear friend told me that if I miss, at least I will still be among the stars. Very comforting. Nice way to put it. Call me ambitious or whatever, I still want to go to the moon. No matter how costly, no matter how deserted (it's not that I feel any different now), no matter how far...I'm not trying to run away from things..maybe..I dunno. I just want to fulfill my dreams.
Right now, it's so hard to talk to anyone. It may not seem so. But terribly so. Words don't seem to be my best friends at the moment. I can't seem to see the right from wrong. I might not have the guts anymore to face the people I want to see. Maybe the awkwardness is still tender. I really need some distractions to soothe me. Maybe a new hobby can help me now. Laughing really helps...seriously. Now, I even laugh at the silliest of things. Shows that I'm terribly distraught inside.
Hmm...maybe hobbies ain't such a bad idea now. I shall come up with a list...
1. Drawing? or doodling...though i ain't good at it
2. I reckon I still have cash for some more novels
3. avoid arthritis early no by sewing but by playing with Rubik's cube
4. working out?
5. maybe it's high time i continue writing my story or poems
6. entering contests
7. do some charity things...how long I'm going to procrastinate on this I wonder
Ok thxforlisteninbai...=)
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