Saturday, March 3, 2012


Sometimes I wonder where I have strayed upon to. I wonder across the green pastures in search of the food my shepherd has to offer; and…

and I greedily take them all for my own.

I feel I need to know my place…

I carry some dirt, mud, on my body. My imperfect white coat smeared, tainted. Frisbee was never meant to be a clean sport, yes. Our coat can be cleaned.

The disc thrower floats the frisbee in search of me once more. My eyes transfixed on the UFO-like saucer. The wind threatens to throw it off course. I snatch it midair…

The call, a revelation, to signal where I shall be led. I shall not let the wind mislead me.

In the endzone, I hover about, waiting to be found, knowing that I shall.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

buried in

God be thank’d, the meanest of his creatures
Boasts two soul-sides, one to face the world with,
One to show a woman when he loves her.
This I say of me, but think of you, Love!
This to you—yourself my moon of poets!
Ah, but that ’s the world’s side—there ’s the wonder—
Thus they see you, praise you, think they know you.
There in turn I stand with them and praise you,
Out of my own self, I dare to phrase it.
But the best is when I glide from out them,
Cross a step or two of dubious twilight,
Come out on the other side, the novel
Silent silver lights and darks undream’d of,
Where I hush and bless myself with silence.

One Word More
(Robert Browning)

Monday, February 13, 2012


Often, the raw truth of one's perspective and perception remains unspoken, unmentioned, undiluted, and untold. Symbolically it's a kin to a cake recipe, a new way of living, and the lost.

The containment and lockdown of information is what makes the "seek" far more tempting. Speculations and conspiracies only fuel the keeper with more satisfaction. However, can you trust anyone with the unsaid?

Concrete measures offers me the impregnable quarter I need to spill out my thoughts.. But the most bullet-proof alternative would be to remain tight-lipped myself. Those are my secrets...

Thursday, December 29, 2011

in the light of dawn

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

the calling

"Do you want me to help you to cut them? I would be happy to."
"No, it's fine. I can handle it. The worse is over; cutting the onions is not as painful as peeling its skin..."

Have we all been there before? The onion, represents life: you peel off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.. sharing the tears, the solemn moments... But most of the time, you silently suffer on your own. It stings, it may stink.. but it gets better. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of it. That hurting; it's fleeting, a passing dark cloud over what would be a majestic scenery. No, reality never quite match up to dreams. You may plan the "perfect getaway"... but nothing ever goes as planned. They are just two parallel, but contradicting paths of a timeline.

If you think about it, whatever dreams we conjure; it never satisfies. You envision yourself being the object of admiration of someone you fancy. Does it ever materialise? I think it doesn't. But even if it does, is it always enough? If we have everything; glory, power, money, brains... etc.. can our thirst honestly be quenched? Amidst my observation of the Boxing Day Madness, I see on the tele, we, humans, always want so much more. Different classes of people, people with different spending power, will always want something that is out of reach for them... Somehow we still feel empty, regardless of how fortunate we already are. It is a bit rather blase that some people recognise year end sales at the end of December rather than Christmas. I think it's hard to accept that there are certain gaps that cannot be filled... that these aches cannot be mended with anything that can be purchased. Satisfaction cannot be guaranteed, whether it's with an abundance of money, brains, or power.

Only by knowing The Creator, and after finding His favour, that you may escape this void. We are all design this way, to trod through adversaries and crisis, knowing Someone is watching over us, making sure we are alright. The life-giving water that He gives is enough to satisfy us for a lifetime. We would never need to feel parched anymore.

It's difficult to have to accept that there is only a hero for all mankind. After all, what can One Man do? But what if He is no man, but God. Would it make it any easier to believe? Everything you see is not made in China, it's made by God. For through the single random.. or not... act of kindness, the whole world was spared from condemnation but only if we accept and believe in Him. It isn't easy I am sure. We, humans, prefer that fate is in our hands. If something is out of our control, we naturally would be fearful, and that's not acceptable. Everything has to be within reach. "I want to be the want pulling the strings, not someone else to do for me!"

Not even if The Creator of the universe is on the other end of the string? Do we not trust in Him?
People nowadays, make no reference to God... they lead their life as they wish. They sit in the leather reclining "boss" chair, and direct commands. They feel perfected content, without a superior in their life. And most people feel that they are good enough, do charity, volunteer, and that they don't need anyone... even a God to judge them. Do we believe, if there's a heaven, that we would go there one day? Can all the good that we do - charities, lifestyle, volunteering we do in our lifetime earn us enough merit to go to heaven? Is it enough to offset the bad things we have ever done?

Imagine you are at a coffee shop, you notice that the barista accidentally sneezed into your coffee, and present you the cup.

"Excuse me, could you give me a new cup of coffee, that's just gross."
"Sorry about that, I would give you extra cream and sugar to offset the taste of the sneeze."

No matter how much good deeds you think you have done. It still wouldn't make you perfect any more if you have just a tiny bit of misdoing. It's not going to change the fact that you are now "gross".

So imagine if everything was laid out... including all our guilts and embarrassments, would you be ashamed? Can we all say that we have not committed any sins? Have you lied before? Have you steal anything before? Have you used God's name as a cuss before? Have you looked at a man/woman and have any form of lust? If yes to all, you are liar, thief, blasphemous, and a fornicator/adulterer. That's already breaking 4 out of the 10 commandments. If you stand before the judgement of God, do you think you deserve to pass the pearly gates? In any case, Someone has already vouch for you. You have already been saved even before you are born; that when Christ stretched His arms to show you how much He loves you, and died on the cross for your sins, it is like your debts have been cleared; it's like you have been given a "get out of jail free card"... it's like you are assured a place in His Kingdom, and be granted everlasting life.

You only need to trust in Him, and repent and turn away from your wrongdoings. And that if you keep your eyes focus on Him, everything will fall right into place...

And just to share something I have found over the internet :)

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, " I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things-your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions-things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal." Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

The Queen's Christmas Speech:

So, I hope you vacate that leather chair you may be sitting on, and let the Boss, our Boss perch on it instead. May you all have a blessed Christmas.. tis the day to remember the birth of our Saviour so that no more may die :)

Thursday, December 22, 2011

the call of the bells

So Christmas is cominggg! My playlist is now looping on Christmas songs by default.. it reminds me of the caroling I went a few weeks back.. :)

But I was recently troubled. As I lie defeated from the possibilities of what life has handed me, I listen to the gentle hum of the wind. Somewhere out there, is my purpose, something that would make sense of everything. I wonder how many more anecdotes my life would accumulate. I wonder if I could ever recount them all.

If nothing should go as planned, would you be concerned? Sometimes I think I may have expected things to go as I wish a little bit too much. But I guess it's part and parcel of life, the excitement, the UNexpectedness. Perhaps we could dodge the lemons thrown at us, by just being random, take the route we decided only moments ago, avoid the adjustment bureau.

I think we are all born with desires that we seek to fulfill. When we are hungry, we buy/cook some food. When we want to relax, we seek the comfort of doing absolutely nothing with no regrets. When we want to do succeed, we work hard for it. When we want to be happy, we seek for what will, and we pursue it...

We are not BORN with desires, unless those desires exist. But what happens when we are UNBORN? What happen when we are no longer around? We desire to always be loved, have comfort, and security. Would it not satisfy our desire to know that there is life after life, and that we are meant for somewhere better? I hope when His Kingdom calls for you, your innate desire alarm bells will ring for Him..

Because we are all Children of God by default.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


I was playing a game recently (merely to de-stress), when it got me thinking.. life is really like a race.. like the Amazing Race.

But unlike the reality TV counterpart, we run this race alone, or rather, we begin with the support and cheers from the crowd, like how we got from our loving parents. And even so, do we not disagree to say that, for most points in our lives, we make our own informed choices at the crossroads, at the junctions, at the detours?

Along the routes/paths that is set out for us, we meet with many wonders, transgressions, love ones, obstacles, good fortune, misleading information (foreign taxi drivers), fast forwards, or sabotages. Each willing us on, or holding us back. Are we capable, strong enough, to carry on? Or does the scratch/bruise from the last fall make us weak, succumbing to a time penalty, of letting life just pass-by wastefully?

The scab on my knee has nearly healed... but.. I am not sure I want to remove it yet..

In our own race, one thing I know, even though each of us got our own route, a different means of getting there, and at different times; we may still end up at there, at the same place. But even so, we are now at different points of the race..

In our own race, one thing I know; at times when that happens, I find that there is nothing good in goodbyes. You may be a tad too late, you may be a tad too early, and after some time... I realised some people are only meant to stay in my heart.. not in my life.. not in this race.

One thing I know, I find all I need is in Your unending love.

If your can't fly, then run,
If you can't run, then walk,
If you can't walk, then crawl,
But whatever we do,
We have to keep MOVING FORWARD.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

less than three

If waking up is an option, if being in a dream is all where you want to be, you might be bordering on insanity; or you may be be in love. If every breath you pour out, is only for that special someone, if you could fall for that person every day over and over again, you might have hypotension (low blood pressure); or you may be in love. If you have palpitations when you see her, and if it hurts to silently keep the secret to yourself, you might be having a cardiac arrest; or you may be in love.

How do you love the one who means the most to you? The one who is guilty of making you sleepless every day; the one whose attention you crave the most, the one whom you feel torn without.

There are apparently 5 principle ways of doing so; by sweet charming words, spending time with each other, giving gifts (particularly remembering important dates), simple touch/strokes/or holding hands, and one which I firmly believe; practising little meaningful acts. It trumps them all.

But the biggest emotional experience, is the love of our Father. It's something which we would never know, unless we experience it. It's something which is there, but sometimes we don't know it. We all just need to find it on our own. But you can be sure, He's there for you.

One thing which probably makes some friends feel uncomfortable is when I say I want to pray for them. It's not like a curse, or something bad, or to show how self-righteous/religious I am; rather I pray so that He comes to your life, reveal Himself to you, and draw yourself to Him. At the end of the day, it's not that I want to be proven right, it is because, believe it or not, it is the best thing that could ever happen to you. So a prayer for you, the 6th way we could do for our love ones, is a supreme act of love, the best we can ask, and hope for you. <3

Saturday, October 29, 2011

blue october

What is in someone who is egoistic? Is it something which has a life span? Is it untouchable? Can fire and flame diminish it?

I have always considered myself as one. I was born and bred in a school which cultivates our massive ego. But after stepping out of the school, it has not serve me like it had used to anymore... well maybe I have put an end to that part of me... suffocated and gone. Right now, it's nothing more than what I consider a "confidence projectile". It has made myself into a known stranger. Someone whom I am sure I know very well, but different in a way, like the smell of your pillow after a two week holiday.

Perhaps, it's no more me and the juniors, anymore. Perhaps, I have grown so much, and now it's more like me and the world. Perhaps, standing amongst the others made me feel a little smaller. Perhaps, I am just a little older and wiser.

I have endured so much of what life has thrown at me. Hardships have corroded and thin my ego. Hardships have made me, shaped me, into a great man.

God doesn't give you the person you want, he gives you the person you need; to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, and to make you the person you were meant to be...

parable of the emperor's new clothes

There once lived an emperor who cared about his outer appearance more than anything else. One day he was visited by the "two best tailors in the world" who promised him the finest piece of fabric the land has ever seen. Enticed by this promise, the emperor was blinded into believing them, and hired them immediately.

Each day the emperor observed the tailors' progress. At first he was slightly skeptical, as nothing could be seen at all. The tailors assured the emperor that the suit was made up of the most sought-after fabric, and that it can only be seen by the the enlightened and by the wise. Not wanting to look like a fool, the emperor agreed that the suit was becoming to take shape, and was marvelous in fact.

When the suit was complete, the tailors delicately put it on for the emperor to wear. Looking at the mirror, the emperor couldn't hide his delight, at his exquisite stunning new clothes. He paid the tailors handsomely, and they left. The emperor then decided to parade his latest wardrobe collection to his subjects.

As he marched along with his procession, "oohs and ahhs" could have been heard from the crowd. Not until a child cried "he's not wearing anything!", that the people realised the truth.

I think most of us are alike to the emperor in so many ways..


we can't hide them, even behind our finest branded new clothes..

and above all, we may feel we know everything. However, we ought not to believe so; because sometimes, someone, even a child, may know something more than you.