daring to move

inspire

in her eyes, you will find the purest thing called...

For one more conversation, for one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever, for one more day...

"When someone is in your heart, they're never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at unlikely times."

— Mitch Albom

hugs

to you

As I tear away from your pain.
I could somehow see your reflection.
You stubbornly pretend you are doing okay.
But clearly you are not.

I know we can never understand how much hurt you feel.
I know we can never truly say we understand

Your broken heart, still beating
just need some healing.
Damaged.
I am sure you thought of every word in the dictionary.
But I hope you find the meanings
That would keep you strong.
That will help find your purpose.
That will help you regain your smile.

With His Mercy,
I pray that you don't forget your way home.
Because you will never be alone, here... with your friends.

barely breathing

If only you knew...
That all my life,
I wanted someone like you to come along
To change my life like you have done.

Right now
I just wanna lose myself.
I feel all the way at the back right now...
Time stolen from me.
Purpose disarray.

But I am hanging on...
Because this was not how you wanted it to be.
So in pain, I know I can find healing.

I guess I never knew
That you could ever mean so much.

it's like...

I wish I can bend space and time.
If only so...
Oh how it would be nice to help myself a bit.
If only I could give that to myself.

...
I wonder what this all means...
How good can even exist
Why is it difficult to comprehend...
Compassion, understanding... is there such a thing?

Why is it that you keep me locked up?
Chained...
A prisoner I truly feel..
But one who still wishes to help...
But not in the matter any way I am limited to.

...
I feel that it's all cruel...
Makes no sense.
If I have a freedom hammer, I would break your wall.
If I have a freedom cannon, I would blast you free.
If I have a freedom sword, I would slay your demons.

...
I am not the boss of myself now...
I think I am split...
Fighting for control are the two voices in my head
Willing me to do as they say...
Both of different choices...
Both of opposite opinions.

Crush...
What's that?
Nothing I guess...
It just means nothing.

Shatter...
Now...
That's a word...

Somehow I know that it would be OK.
That with His grace
things will turn for the better.
For everyone...
Not just me...
Because I wish no hard feelings...
Even though I am basically shaking my own hands.

I hope that I had not vented to anyone.
I had to just rant it.
And like a fire being stoked,
A wildfire spread uncontrollably.

Sometimes I wish to talk,
But I stubbornly rejected everyone.
I pushed everyone away.
I thought I could escape,
Or deal my screw ups alone.
I wish I had more in me
To get a good grip over myself.
I guess this is good though...
It's like acceptance.

colours fade

Yesterday I got lost in the circus
Feeling like such a mess

Mr Waiter took away my desserts before I had a chance to eat it.
I heard it was nice.. ala tiramisu but of a 5 star type.
Of course I was sad.. listening to all the raves about it..

But I guess I would be alright.
It was just desserts.
Most important was the main course.
And I had aplenty.

holding hands

colours moving and still...

If we try to account the positive relationships we would love to have in our life, I guess we could summarise it down to these...

The relationship between God and our self...
The relationship between our parents and our self...
The relationship between our friends and our self...
The relationship between that special someone and our self...

Then... I felt that those alone were not enough. I felt there should be more... So, these were what I also included...

The relationship between God and our family...
The relationship between God and our friends...
The relationship between God and our boyfriend/girlfriend...
The relationship between our parents and our friends...
The relationship between our parents and our boyfriend/girlfriend...
The relationship between our friends and our boyfriend/girlfriend...

Then... I thought... heck... there has to be a vise versa in all of those relationships as well. And, what about our pets, our Facebook friends, our colleagues, mother nature, the mak-cik who make sure our schools are in study-conducive environment, our mechanics, our stock broker, our landlords... gosh.. so many to list. Well, you get the picture.

But what we can definitely agree is...

"There may be no greater inner agony than the loss of a relationship we desperately want."

because being in a relationship we truly care about feels just like home.

And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done