the calling

"Do you want me to help you to cut them? I would be happy to."
"No, it's fine. I can handle it. The worse is over; cutting the onions is not as painful as peeling its skin..."

Have we all been there before? The onion, represents life: you peel off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.. sharing the tears, the solemn moments... But most of the time, you silently suffer on your own. It stings, it may stink.. but it gets better. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of it. That hurting; it's fleeting, a passing dark cloud over what would be a majestic scenery. No, reality never quite match up to dreams. You may plan the "perfect getaway"... but nothing ever goes as planned. They are just two parallel, but contradicting paths of a timeline.

If you think about it, whatever dreams we conjure; it never satisfies. You envision yourself being the object of admiration of someone you fancy. Does it ever materialise? I think it doesn't. But even if it does, is it always enough? If we have everything; glory, power, money, brains... etc.. can our thirst honestly be quenched? Amidst my observation of the Boxing Day Madness, I see on the tele, we, humans, always want so much more. Different classes of people, people with different spending power, will always want something that is out of reach for them... Somehow we still feel empty, regardless of how fortunate we already are. It is a bit rather blase that some people recognise year end sales at the end of December rather than Christmas. I think it's hard to accept that there are certain gaps that cannot be filled... that these aches cannot be mended with anything that can be purchased. Satisfaction cannot be guaranteed, whether it's with an abundance of money, brains, or power.

Only by knowing The Creator, and after finding His favour, that you may escape this void. We are all design this way, to trod through adversaries and crisis, knowing Someone is watching over us, making sure we are alright. The life-giving water that He gives is enough to satisfy us for a lifetime. We would never need to feel parched anymore.

It's difficult to have to accept that there is only a hero for all mankind. After all, what can One Man do? But what if He is no man, but God. Would it make it any easier to believe? Everything you see is not made in China, it's made by God. For through the single random.. or not... act of kindness, the whole world was spared from condemnation but only if we accept and believe in Him. It isn't easy I am sure. We, humans, prefer that fate is in our hands. If something is out of our control, we naturally would be fearful, and that's not acceptable. Everything has to be within reach. "I want to be the want pulling the strings, not someone else to do for me!"

Not even if The Creator of the universe is on the other end of the string? Do we not trust in Him?
People nowadays, make no reference to God... they lead their life as they wish. They sit in the leather reclining "boss" chair, and direct commands. They feel perfected content, without a superior in their life. And most people feel that they are good enough, do charity, volunteer, and that they don't need anyone... even a God to judge them. Do we believe, if there's a heaven, that we would go there one day? Can all the good that we do - charities, lifestyle, volunteering we do in our lifetime earn us enough merit to go to heaven? Is it enough to offset the bad things we have ever done?

Imagine you are at a coffee shop, you notice that the barista accidentally sneezed into your coffee, and present you the cup.

"Excuse me, could you give me a new cup of coffee, that's just gross."
"Sorry about that, I would give you extra cream and sugar to offset the taste of the sneeze."

No matter how much good deeds you think you have done. It still wouldn't make you perfect any more if you have just a tiny bit of misdoing. It's not going to change the fact that you are now "gross".

So imagine if everything was laid out... including all our guilts and embarrassments, would you be ashamed? Can we all say that we have not committed any sins? Have you lied before? Have you steal anything before? Have you used God's name as a cuss before? Have you looked at a man/woman and have any form of lust? If yes to all, you are liar, thief, blasphemous, and a fornicator/adulterer. That's already breaking 4 out of the 10 commandments. If you stand before the judgement of God, do you think you deserve to pass the pearly gates? In any case, Someone has already vouch for you. You have already been saved even before you are born; that when Christ stretched His arms to show you how much He loves you, and died on the cross for your sins, it is like your debts have been cleared; it's like you have been given a "get out of jail free card"... it's like you are assured a place in His Kingdom, and be granted everlasting life.

You only need to trust in Him, and repent and turn away from your wrongdoings. And that if you keep your eyes focus on Him, everything will fall right into place...

And just to share something I have found over the internet :)

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, " I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things-your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions-things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal." Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

The Queen's Christmas Speech:

So, I hope you vacate that leather chair you may be sitting on, and let the Boss, our Boss perch on it instead. May you all have a blessed Christmas.. tis the day to remember the birth of our Saviour so that no more may die :)

less than three

If waking up is an option, if being in a dream is all where you want to be, you might be bordering on insanity; or you may be be in love. If every breath you pour out, is only for that special someone, if you could fall for that person every day over and over again, you might have hypotension (low blood pressure); or you may be in love. If you have palpitations when you see her, and if it hurts to silently keep the secret to yourself, you might be having a cardiac arrest; or you may be in love.

How do you love the one who means the most to you? The one who is guilty of making you sleepless every day; the one whose attention you crave the most, the one whom you feel torn without.

There are apparently 5 principle ways of doing so; by sweet charming words, spending time with each other, giving gifts (particularly remembering important dates), simple touch/strokes/or holding hands, and one which I firmly believe; practising little meaningful acts. It trumps them all.

But the biggest emotional experience, is the love of our Father. It's something which we would never know, unless we experience it. It's something which is there, but sometimes we don't know it. We all just need to find it on our own. But you can be sure, He's there for you.

One thing which probably makes some friends feel uncomfortable is when I say I want to pray for them. It's not like a curse, or something bad, or to show how self-righteous/religious I am; rather I pray so that He comes to your life, reveal Himself to you, and draw yourself to Him. At the end of the day, it's not that I want to be proven right, it is because, believe it or not, it is the best thing that could ever happen to you. So a prayer for you, the 6th way we could do for our love ones, is a supreme act of love, the best we can ask, and hope for you. <3

finding

So, it is like this. It's summer my holidays, and I haven't got much to do. Sometimes I wouldn't mind, as I think I would recharge my batteries that way. I could read my novels and watch movies I always wanted to.

But on other days, I feel that I am too idle. And every time I said "I'm bored", I feel a unicorn dies, or well.. I feel completely useless.. and then remain so.

I often rebuked myself for "letting a unicorn die". Why shan't I defend the poor unicorn? It's the fighting spirit that I need to seek at times like this. It's the character-building which I know is good for me.

But why is it so hard to do those things? Maybe it's easier to stay in bed an extra 15 minutes than to get up as soon as the alarm rings. Maybe it's easier to forgo a jog just because the sky looks overcast. Maybe it's easier to give an excuse than to instigate an initiative. *Easy?* I think I just abhorred that word.

I think I have slacked enough. I shall do something about this. What I may need is to ignite the motivational fuse at the prefrontal cortex of my brain.

I just need to remind myself that nothing in this world is ever easy; similar to nothing is ever free. There's always a catch. Every time we do something easy, we are unknowingly shackled at our legs with balls and chains. Try swimming or running in that situation. Either you sink, or you fall; there won't be any glory.

So how would you lift yourself out from such a mess? Well, you could struggle back to survive, or stand up and carry that burden with you all the way without any fuss about it. Above all, I think you need to believe. Nothing is impossible. We are all humans, we are not perfect, everyone has fallen short before. Don't feel inferior. We just need to pick ourselves up, and fix our eyes upon the goal that we are aiming for. Sometimes we all just need a good reminder that easy stuffs may be attractive, but a good hard work gives satisfaction.

People with religion should be happy, because they can always turn to a higher power and pray for guidance or help. Sometimes when I am troubled, and when I am weary, and when I feel lost, I find my purpose again when I speak to God. It may be easy for skeptics to scoff this idea. But if you would try to believe, you would experience what I feel or what I see, in this relationship with Him.

sweet misery

"An eye for an eye,
Makes the whole world go blind"

on the move...

I have been doing some physio of late; (orthopaedic's orders... and insisted by my mom) for my back. Nothing that you should be alarmed about. Just a precautionary measure. So, I hope to learn some stretching methods before jetting off on Monday.

Hot packs will be put on my back; to help release the tension of some of my muscles on my back. Basically this is what is happening to my back....

One side's muscles is stronger than the other. So, it's kinda at an uneven strength/tension... kinda like strings on a guitar... a good one. This cumulative effect will cause my posture to be somewhat Crooked with a capital C, similar to the shape of my spine now. So, if you could strum my back muscles like a guitar, it would produce good music... but 20 years down the road, it could really hurt... a lot... and I might be hunched... sideways!

For a quick fix solution, the therapist hope to strengthen the muscles on one side, while reducing the tightness of the muscles on the other side. But of course I still would need to do my own stretching at home after the sessions. Also, the therapist put this type of plaster on my back to help my body re-accustom itself to my new posture.

Like the pink one here Mr Beckham is wearing. It's called a kinesio tape.

The customary tension on each plaster (there are two on my back) will help align my back to the 'correct' position. It is as if I am a puppet at the end of two strings of different tension. Although, the feeling is subtle, subconsciously, my body will try to position itself such that the tension in both plasters are at its minimum. I wouldn't have guess that this thing would actually work if the therapist had not said that my posture is getting better. I thought "Wow!". I was only having the therapy session for 4 days!

Along with this, I have been trying to get myself into shape ie. to build up my long-gone stamina. Did some jogging during the last 3 days... it hasn't been great, but hope it's enough.

Day 1: 4km in 31 mins.
Day 2: 5km in 37 mins.
Day 3: 4km in 31 mins.

Still slower than what I know I can do... hope to improve ;)

Anyway, I was resting on a bench near the playground after my jog. While huffing and puffing through my sweat soaked eyes, I could partially see some kids having fun. It allowed me to reminisce a bit about my childhood.

Then I remembered what a colleague ... well now ex-colleague told me when I was in GSK. Human interactions in the boardroom and in the playground are the same. In the boardroom, people squabble and debate their ideas, to convince everyone why their ideas deserved to be materialised. It's kinda the same as in the playground. There always seem to be a 'dominant' one. One who seems louder and bigger than the other kids. It reminded me of Rugrats.. the cartoon I used to watch as a kid. Hostility and cooperation can be identified among these kids. You can kinda figure out how they will be like as an adult.

So, there was this 'Angelica' there, on the swings and slides. You could see 'Angelica's' passion. It's great to see lively kids like that. So carefree.. nothing to worry about. Then another kid came by... I think this kid is a 'Chuckie'... seemingly shy; unsure of himself. 'Chuckie' wandered towards 'Angelica'... with hope that he could play together. 'Angelica' took one look and shunned poor 'Chuckie'. He was excluded. It probably didn't mean anything. It was probably my tired mind's conclusion. But what I saw and surmised is that those kind of things are the very foundation and fundamentally the future of our society's heartache. If only we learned to share when we are young. It's something that should be inculcated in all kids. Exclusion is hurtful. 'Chuckie' probably felt it. Or if he was a stronger lad that I saw, he probably just shrugged off what 'Angelica' said and play at the dirty grimy monkey bars although he was too short for it.

What 'Angelica' portray was an 'I' attitude. There should be more 'We' or 'Us' vocab among children. It helps in unifying themselves too. I got up to continue cooling myself down. Sweat was dripping all over myself. It was as if I was being squeezed bone dry. I imagined the hollow inner world that 'Angelica' was unknowingly creating for herself. A cave where one could get lost, where secrets can be kept, but where one would feel alone. If only she knew...

sigggghhhhssss

"Your battery is able to charge normally. However it is reaching the end of its usable life. you can experience a longer operating time with a new battery. You might want to consider purchasing a replacement battery now."

in my blue jeans

When I started working in GSK, I didn't quite know what I was expecting. I guess I wasn't thinking much. I kept wondering if I could survive the 12-week long placement. Now about halfway into it, I feel that the end can't come any slower. In other words, I am rather enjoying myself. I definitely could see myself in pharmaceutical industry. It's testament to GSK and how much they have exposed me so far. Although in some moments, I wished they would give me a little bit more responsibility, I can still safely say, I have no regrets trying this out. I am having the time of my life here.

It's true I am still fresh. Through my eyes, I still see things that could be better. I have not reached the stage where I would just accept things as it is. I guess it's good that I can rebel about things now. Improvements can be made, and I can see the future.

But I digress, I am only a guy in blue jeans. I am not yet a boss of the company; one who wears LV coats or Clark shoes... although I can confidently say that I am halfway there ;) No one can deny me the rights to see things my way. I guess I have my own ways... but I always sing my praises to the One who is always by my side to guide me what should be done.

In my opinion, I feel the best person to get advice from, or the ones who can tell you a lot about their job are those who are in the middle of the company; whether in terms of position or years served. If you ask the newer ones, they are pretty much like you, but they are able to share stories a bit on their previous company. Those can be quite interesting, a true representative of this versus that. But, if you ask those at the top, they won't reveal much. They have reputations to take care of... whether it is the company's or their very own. And I feel they choose their words too carefully.

Now.. if I am a reporter.. I think that's not what I want...

I would like to have the story told as it is... from all angles. And I know I can get that from the "middle". They are the true experts, the driving force of the company. They know everything about the things they are selling, they are the ones who make the money, they are the ones who can be honest to us.

But again I digress.... I am a student.. an inquisitive and curious one. All I want to do is learn as much as time allows me to...

"Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn." -- Benjamin Franklin

of maturity and its truth

I was helping a colleague with something. It wasn't something too hard. Just double checking and kinda like data entry. But it was a huge file. It took about 2 minutes to open. And... it was a file from a shared folder. So yeah.. it was pretty important. Anyway.. I save the changes I made, locked my computer and off I went for lunch.

After coming back.. I tidied up my table a bit.. and returned the document in her. She asked if I have saved. I said yes.. So anyway.. I clicked to close the file. Then, it asked me if I wanted to save the changes I made..

These kinda things always freak me out.. I swore I didn't make any more changes.

tired

Has this ever occur to you??



It has happen to me a few too many times. Exhaustion, you know. Then, I would get stares, but no actions. Not that I am expecting a seat... I just hope that they would wipe the look on their face when I would nearly collapse. I bet 99% of them wished I did... for humour.

Sabah - teaser

On the Eve of Christmas, we woke up early for a 5 hours-road winding-stomach churning-bladder busting-journey from Sandakan to Kota Kinabalu. The only stop we made was at Ranau. About halfway through the journey. We stopped at the Petronas Station. Perhaps due to luck or convenience, every other road traveler also stopped to take a leak there. The stench was horrible to say the least. Peee-yooo-wtf #$%#@ can be said is only an understatement. It was a stench you never could live through. A cigarette could really lit up the whole place, not because of the petroleum, but because of the methane gas accumulating in the toilet. Maybe this was how they produce their petroleum, from people's waste.


Anyway, I actually had a powerful urge to go. But I figured I could hold on and last through the journey all the way to Karambunai. So, I just took a leak and we were on our way. Then, just then, I knew I couldn't hold any longer. Awful luck? Maybe.

We passed by a fruit market, and my aunt and mom went down to buy some. I stormed out of the 4WD, and went from stall to stall in search for a toilet. I found one not far off, and it was like my burden was lifted. I hopped back into the ride, and felt relief. I wiped the little beads of sweat on my forehead, with clean hands of course. Lucky we wanted fruits? Maybe.

Karambunai was beautiful! We even had free internet connection! It was like paradise! And for dinner, we ate like Kings! Beef, turkey, chicken, lamb, salmon, prawns, etc! I realised my other friends probably had simpler Christmas Eve dinner. So, I was thankful. A friend texted me and said I was so lucky to have a scrumptious meal. Maybe.

The next day, I diarrhoea-ed another 3 times! So, half my day in paradise was wasted in my room. Because of this, I didn't have the time to visit a friend in UMS. Ouch! Maybe.

But anyway, the rest of the time in Paradise was awesome!! We had the time of our lives! I was starting to dread that this holiday was about to end. Maybe.

Then we headed back to Kota Kinabalu (KK). We would spend a night there before flying off. We dropped by at Lok Kawi Wildlife Park. It is a newly open Zoo in KK. So when we got there, they wanted to check our IC to see if we are eligible for nationality discounts. I rummaged through my wallet and found it was missing!! I was like so scared!! Freaked out.. !! Everyone was like trying to help me remember where I'd misplaced it. Was it at the Turtle Island jetty at Buli Sim Sim?? Was it at the laundry in Sandakan?? Everyone was coming up with solutions, more worried how I was to get home. UNLLLUCCCKYY???! Maybe.

My sis grabbed my wallet and thoroughly checked for me while I was skeptical she would uncover anything. But a minute later, she ended my ordeal. It was tucked away in a pocket I usually wouldn't use! I wanted to kick myself. I apologised to everyone for the massive unnecessary heart attack. Phew.. Maybe.

The next day, we had another scare. At the airport, apparently someone had taken my cousin's ticket! It was not known who... perhaps hackers or someone more sinister. I tried to negotiate my way around my thoughts about the possibilities. On the other hand, all the other adults (parents) were more vocal to the officers in-charge, demanding that we get another ticket. They had asked us to pay for another, which actually seemed rather unacceptable. After hours of arguing... I thought we were going to miss our flight, we managed to get the ticket without paying. Rightfully, considering the circumstances and the reasons which I would not mention here. Fortunate? Maybe.

We got home... home sweet home... The next day, I had plan to detox. And the day after that (yesterday)... for some unfortunate reason, I woke up with a headache. I had breakfast, which I thought I wasn't able to finish. An hour later, I vomited everything out. I slept the next few hours thinking that it was the milk, probably because it was near expiry. (After holidays... not enough food at home.) But after nap, I was still groggy. It was 4pm. And I had not eaten the whole day. I went down to grab something. But I found out I couldn't even finish a slice of bread. I did the maths and thought this could be serious. I texted a friend. I asked for the symptoms of Denggi and Malaria, just in case. The reply came agonisingly slow... about 15 minutes later. It nearly match for Denggi. My friend asked if I have red spots on my leg. I said "Yes". I had always assumed the spots which I had gotten a week earlier were from sand flies. I was only thinking that I could be hospitalised and that my studies/preparations for exams could be affected. Maybe.

I saw the doctor later that day, only after vomiting for the second time... And like I said in my previous post, slept 18 hours... And now I feel slightly better. Maybe.

I didn't inform other people for fear that it would cause some unnecessary concerns, especially uni friends. I know they are a worry-some bunch. But I love them. So.. I am okay now.. I guess stories like this are not uncommon. Life is like a rollercoaster. One moment, you are on a high, the next you are not. If only, it were so much simpler. If only, we were more in control of our fate. But then again, that's life. So many things can happen in between here and there, now and the future. We just have to... live like everything is planned... so we don't have to worry... because everything would have been planned and known... I don't know. Maybe.

oh holy night

I feel so :( today... I just don't have the energy to say why...

I will just say some words... Hope that can fill you in with something...

Chem report... suck in Excel... tried to figure out... not friendly at all... don't know how to combine two sets of data in one graph... how to scale???... spent 3 frustrating hours... manage to do... learnt something new... Office crashed... saving fail... files can't be recovered... okay fine... redo... but got improvements... looking positive... saved in thumbdrive... turn on desktop... where my graph go???... didn't save in laptop... @#$%... redo... getting annoyed... played some music... facebook awhile... no one to ask on MSN... sighs... continue to redo... sleepy... headache... tried to sing... HAHA... I sound like a frog... back to work... no more stress... finish... plugged back into desktop... WHERE THE HELL???... file missing again... still didn't learn... no backup in laptop... moaning all the way... do again... sighs.. SIGHSS... no one to talk to still... sad... redo... craved for chocolates... mom gave away... sighs... talked to myself... encouragement... prayed hard... please give me strength... facebook... everyone so happy... Christmas... I should be too... saved a copy in laptop... open file in dekstop... AGAIN don't have?? Someone up there hates me... curses luck... checked back laptop... *Cries*... file also cannot open... redo again... @$%#@%$@%#%$... leaves file open in laptop... tried saving under different file type... transfer to desktop... still nothing... fed up... WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?? :( :'( ... don't feel like talking to anyone anymore... but secretly I do still... emailed file to self in different file types... all failed... suddenly Office crashed again... nearly last straw... wanted to weep... needed a hug so badly... pulled self together... went to check fantasy football... won 5-0... surprised myself... found a file which survived everything... contains everything... no need for redo... saved under PDF... still unreadable in desktop... finally... print screen and crop out graph... works... relief... things starting to look bright after 7 hours... next printer jammed... @%$#%@... WHY ME??... pulled paper out... nearly wanted to hit it... tried again... at long last... my graphs... took bath at 3.33am...

And... this is today's carol... Hope everyone is having a brilliant Christmas! Enjoy your holidays!

don't sweat it

Each time I use the computer; it’s agony! Mosquitoes will lay siege on my legs before I could even start up the pc. Somehow, if there are a 100 people in a room, mosquitoes would still prefer my and only my blood. And the other 99? Well, they would not have to deal with too many mosquito problems. You could say that I can be pretty handy at parties. Or if you are a much nicer person, you could feel sorry for me and my huge puffy lumpy skin.

They seem hard to avoid, and you’re never sure where they’ll be or how many of them will be around. But they assault your body, and you can only get rid of hundreds of them a night and still have that particular one which gets through.

So, naturally I needed to find out why these pesky pests keep bugging me and what makes my blood taste like a smorgasbord to them.

According to experts (both mosquitoes-approved and mosquitoes-less-approved), mosquitoes are attracted to lactic acid in sweat and to carbon dioxide. This would explain why mosquitoes are mostly hovering under your table, where your sweaty feet are. Dang! And I thought mosquitoes have smartened up by attacking us from where we can’t see. I guess I would need to use Vape coils from now on. OR… baits traps with dry ice (solidified carbon dioxide). Simple candle or incense which will mask the aroma will do just fine.

Oh, and you probably already deduced by now that I sweat easily. Lactic acid is also released when certain foods high in salt or potassium are consumed. SO… no bananas if you plan on going camping in the jungle. That’s the worse thing you could do to yourself.

Mosquitoes are also attracted to sweet smells including perfume, hair oil and deodorant. They also are attracted to dark clothing. So, we should have none of these from dusk to dawn, if we don’t want to get bitten. You know, this could be why Asians (Black hair! Not trying to be racist!) and Goths are often on mosquitoes’ menu. But if you are neither an Asian or a Goth or an Asian Goth, and you still think that mosquitoes go vampire over you more than everyone else, you could be right. This may be due to the fact that mosquitoes-less-approved (MLA) people secrete a natural repellent that your (mosquitoes-approved (MA)) body doesn’t make.

But, even if you think you’re less attractive to the opposite species (the 99 others); mosquitoes will never leave you completely alone. If you want to really turn them off, an insect repellent containing DEET (N,N-diethyl-meta-toluamide) comes in handy.

Maybe in the future, there could be a pill you could pop to appear ‘invisible’ to mosquitoes… Makes you wonder…

References:

1. RedOrbit - Experts Say Mosquitoes Prefer Sweet Smells - http://www.redorbit.com/news/science/76609/experts_say_mosquitoes_prefer_sweet_smells/index.html, 23/07/2009

2. Dr. Dream – Health Blogs – 8 Tips for Protection Against Mosquitoes - http://drdreams.com/eight-tips-for-protection-against-mosquitoes/, 23/07/2009

3. Jacquelyn Rudis - True or False: Mosquitoes Are Attracted to Some People More Than Others - http://healthlibrary.epnet.com/GetContent.aspx?token=c5987b1e-add7-403a-b817-b3efe6109265&chunkiid=156994, 23/07/2009

.. .. .. .. ..

You might want to check out these related links:- sleepless in KL and chemicals react.

aduhai/oh no...

An ordinary building opposite my attachment/work place...

Looks quite nice...

But look closely at the banner...

Sighs...

It's back to Bahasa in Sai-ants and Matematikus...

train wreck

Things you might notice if you are a frequent public transport user:

1. Somebody faints. And then suddenly everyone is offering their seats. Even the seats beside the fainted one is vacated. Apparently to give the person extra room.

2. A swimming pool located just beside the railway track. I wonder why do people even bother using it.

3. A young person approaches you with what seemed like a leader bounded file. He asks for your time, even when you clearly looked busy and tired. He introduces himself, shows his identifications and open the file to reveal some pictures. He seems to speak politely whilst trying to generate some sympathy. A simple ploy to get his hands into your wallet. He shows the stickers with a receipt of RM10. Am I suppose to buy this?

I was soooo tired. I was trying to be attentive, but my mind was mapping out ways how to say it in a nice way that I didn't trust him. So, I asked him, "How much will you be paid for this?" He seemed very shocked. And that moment onwards, he literally became nervous. I guess he knew I wasn't really going to make the donation. He removed a rubber band from his wrist and started playing with it between his fingers while still trying to convince me why it wasn't a scam (this time in a more slurred way of talking). I was just staring at his fingers, as he twirled the rubber band around his index finger. Gosh! It looks tight. His finger is all ruddy above the rubber band! I didn't really have to get rid of him. He just walked away almost on his own. I turned back, and he was already on the phone... Then, a monk clad in orange walked pass me. Coincidence?

4. Reading a book somehow lets you keep your seat.

I was sitting in the LRT reading my book when suddenly, another lady spoke in a very curt manner asking the person beside me to surrender her seat for a pregnant lady standing nearby. Is that supposed to make me feel bad?? I lost concentrating what I was reading, but totally ignored the fact that the person who grudgingly gave up her seat was now standing in front of me, perhaps thinking the same thing as I was - I am younger than her.

5. Some people can be really disgusting users. And curiously they are of the same race.

A guy digs his nose, his mouth is half open, revealing his loosely clenched jaws; drool almost flowing out from his mouth. After a good ten seconds in the cave while making sure he sweeps through every nook and cranny, out his index finger came, revealing a nasty greenish-black bat perching on it. He considers wiping it on the seat between his legs, then decided against it. He flicks it proudly like a daddy bird letting his chicks soar on their own for the first time. The lady beside him shifts her leg away to the corner.

A group of messy friends enters a train. All of them got seats. One of them has a drink. Suddenly he spills it, mostly on himself. The sticky stuff all over his arm. His girlfriend pretends not to notice. He surreptitiously wipes his arm over the seat he was sitting on. He dumps the empty bottle under his seat. He does not seem to notice the stares around him.

pump the gas

"Hey bro! Let's go bowling/sing K!"
"Oh... hmm... err... Sorry man. I got something on. Test in two days time."
"Well, that's too bad. Come if you can make it."
"Alright. I will try to be there."


Somehow when the holidays are here, we tend to lose ourselves. Everyone is "busy" with their own stuffs; their own lives. Sometimes, try-ing isn't assuring anymore. Why do we not want to make ourselves free?

Gah! Me not fond of long holidays, unless there is a trip of course. I am tired of spending my hols doing mundane things which can be done at any other weekends.


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1. I love getting brain juice flowing. But it's uncool that nothing is shown when the deal has been inked.
2. I love fiction... especially that which contains real facts.
3. I love oxymorons... they are weirdly special.

And,

1. I am so annoyed that my Ares has corrupted. All is Lost!! How to watch??
2. If it was USM Kelantan, then it wouldn't have been such a big deal. But an apex one???
3. False hope snatched at the very peak of euphoria sucks.

crying foul

Why didn't Adam Lambert win??? Wtf!! Mood killer man! He was the only bright spark (ok dark.. whatever) of this season's American Idol. He was the reason why I watched this season. It has been a joke from the start to include a fourth judge + the rest of things to 'freshen' things up. I think nothing has been done to catch my attention. This includes the 'save' thing which I thought was soooo lame...

And don't let me get it started about the finale. Ok it was fabulous to see so many stars... (Carrie was so pretty) but I think it looked a bit too much on the grandeur side. Perhaps it was good, but looked a bit tad too tacky and commercialised.

But I digress...

What I had problem with was with the judges particularly Kara. Ok la... bikini girl was awarded some shit award... yeah she's back...with bigger boobs + some tan ...but does she, as a panel, have to come up on stage to sing with her (both had a row earlier in the auditions), dressed differently; like in bikinis as well??!! Well done to degrade the judges' already tarnished reputation this season.

Family show, can?

And this year's finale song, co-written by Kara, what the hell was it all about. The lyrics were horrible. I also could have sworn Simon scoffed the whole thing. I thought it was already a great idea in the past to let people of the public to write the song for the competition. I felt sorry that Kris had to sing "No Boundaries" in the end after the results again. He looked like he dreaded to. But perhaps it was for another reason. Right until the end, he still felt he wasn't good enough to win. Or he probably realised that he will be in the way of American's dream after already shocked us in the previous round by outlasting Danny.

Speaking of which, I am quite disappointed that Danny's fans jumped on the Kris bandwagon instead. I don't want to mention their common background la... but both are real gentleman, very nice guys. I have no idea what they see in Adam. Perhaps he's way too unorthodox, weird, flamboyant... but his talent is undeniable. The winner should go to one with the best voice, and charisma! Heck! Plus, you may never imagine it but a rocker like him can be such a nice guy. He was very sporting; didn't show any frustration; instead he was so happy for Kris when Ryan announced the results. Who says humility only belongs to Kris??

At the end, Ryan had to make sure Kris doesn't give his two cents worth of thoughts. The later repeatedly say, "But Adam..." Even Simon didn't look as impress as he would have suggested moments earlier. He was prepared to just sit, while the other three stood to give a standing ovation. I am beginning to think, particularly this season, that America have decided that they are the 'better' judges and whatever Simon says, they don't have to do no more. Then, I would imagine, Simon will then be prepared to quit the game, if he is no more the main player. Also this time, Ryan did not announce the difference in votes or the percentage split between the two. What I perceived the results to be is either a very huge or very small difference. Both are somewhat too controversial - if released. Anyway, up is where Adam will go from here... Watch him rise!

Adam Lambert and Kris Allen

part III - salt talk

They say eyes are the windows to the soul.

If you stare closely into a cheerful person's eye; I mean if you really stare right into the person's eye, you may not see what is portrayed outside. On some people, you may see everything that you already know. A perfect resemblance of the dude or dudette themselves. But what of others? What you may see is a frost-covered broken window. And beyond that, housed a combination of things, but mostly things that you wouldn't expect.

As crazy as he may be, it's important to know that you don't know the person till you really get to know him. It takes years to know something about someone. It may take you forever to know him well. But why would you wanna do that? Unless you wanna be him; but that is just creepy.

I have noticed a few people like that. So, when they are down right down. It's quite hard to fathom what is capable of 'breaking' them. I supposed it's natural to assume superman will always be superman. Somehow he will always save the day; no matter how much pickles or rather kryptonite he is soaked in. But then again, every hero, even superman needs saving. Every Lois, Perry, and Jimmy just have to notice that he needs it. They should be tactful; not sneer like a bloody snake. No man or woman are like the weather. Some can't take criticism well.

Also, I have learnt that pranks don't work on a person if the person mean nice in the first place. To take advantage of it is absolutely dispicable. I wonder if there is a relationship between emoiety and sleep deprivation. I would imagine so. I am a live proof; although the double blind tests are not conducted in this case yet.

Apollo!

Dear Mighty Helios,

Firstly, let me say that your solar steeds - Pyrios, Aeos, Aethon, and Phlegon - look as healthy... I mean as fiery as ever! And, your chariot; perfect! I know it's probably hard work keeping its shine and glitter when you have to reel the sun in everyday. How do you do it?

I wonder how you do this everyday since t=0, I mean for billions of years? What motivates you to do the same thing everyday?? Is it the cheese fondue? The pay is good? To answer our prayers? Is your son, Phaëton, taking over the business??

Actually I was wondering if you could tone down on the shine? Many of the folks down here appreciate the warmth and all, but I think we could do with a little less of the brightness.

It's not cheap to afford a good pair of shades... sunglasses anymore these days - you know the global credit crunch and all. Which brand do you use anyway? So for the rest of us who unwittedly stare continuously at you and your work, from dawn to dusk, yeah.. we are at risk of cataracts.

It's a horrible disease. Our eye lens will be clouded and we will experience tunnel vision. Soon, it won't be as easy to appreciate your good hard work anymore. So, help us a little ok? I know it's technically our fault for destroying the ozone layer to begin with. But I know, you won' let the UV rays debilitate and compromise our sight for the other finer things in life.

Thank you, Helios!

Citizen of the Earth.


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Thanks for the shades, Helios! A little big but I love it! I will wear it as often as I should ;)

no thanks. I'm full already...

The Tom Yam-style fish that mom prepared last night suddenly didn't look appetising. I was all hesitant to eat. I kept thinking about the poor fish that Cheesie ate recently. In that particular post, she also linked a video of a Sashimi chef slicing the mid-section of a fish before putting it back into the aquarium. To my utter disbelief, it was shocking and perhaps even more sickening to see the fish still swimming. It was so... :(

As I twirled with the pieces of fish on my plate; pondering if it was right to be put into my mouth (or all of ours... yeah, that serious), I couldn't help but think how that poor fish or all fish for that matter must have felt as they gasp for breathe only to endure an agonising pain. Do they understand 'impending death' or 'impending food'? If they could scream, what would they say?

"Help me!!"

I think it's absolutely cruel seeing the swimming half-sushi in the tank. There should be a 'proper' way or protocol to prepare such a dish or delicacy... whatever you may call it. Not to mutilate them and expect them to 'live like normal' mind you! I for one can't eat anything raw... what more still alive and (kicking) struggling...

In the end, I convinced myself that instead of nirvana, fish look to become food. It's what they are all born to be. Then, all the nonsensical autobiography thing we learnt back in primary school came to mind. Heck, maybe the fish themselves have a goldfish-seven-seconds-short-term-memory? Once back in the tank, they will think to themselves, "well... that's new." Yucky though to see the other fish looking to have a nibble of it. But I ain't no fish, so with the last bite of my meal, I ate all the pieces remaining on my plate hastily.

pet peeves

During my study break, I discovered many things which can really get on my peripheral nerves...

"The karaoke machine has been named in a government survey as the most irritating invention." - Ananova

I have to really agree with the Brits on this. The idea of singing... okay.. more to listening to people singing, who think they can sing, seriously makes me cringe. To make matters worse, the cheering he/she receives will leave me at breaking point. If I'm a little more out of control, I would use the mic and wield it directly at the bleeping machine; bashing it to a million pieces.

Instead, I would just distract myself with thoughts of hyper-critical comments that even Simon Cowell will find harsh.



Another thing which I find most irksome is video games! They are so bleepingly addictive!! Oh gawd... especially to the tired and saturated minds, it is such a relief to anxieties. An excellent substitute to methyldopa. Bah!! It can be a total waste of my bleeping limited precious time; especially at the very most critical period at the dawn before the start of my exams. Next thing I know, I'm sacrifising sleep just to beat my own high score. Dammit! How so very productive... It seemed so satisfying at the moment. I can literally play continuously without any remorse what sort ever. It's exactly like being in virtual reality; losing myself like that. Sometimes, I have to thank my friends who unwittingly texts me in the wee hours of the morning to break the spell. After that, I can temporarily regain focus.

But like any other drugs, there is a tolerance level. I need to play longer each time than the last to feel the same satisfaction. Swt... So, I'm admitting myself to a rehab centre. I got to learn to refrain myself. Abstinence!



And I can't believe for the second year in a row, FOB failed to spot KL on their Asia map!! They will be in Singapore again!! *Whines*

*Sighs*...

Exams over... got less than two weeks to chill before the start of the new sem...

Oh wait... got CPD, poster and CV to do... No more excuses...