finding

So, it is like this. It's summer my holidays, and I haven't got much to do. Sometimes I wouldn't mind, as I think I would recharge my batteries that way. I could read my novels and watch movies I always wanted to.

But on other days, I feel that I am too idle. And every time I said "I'm bored", I feel a unicorn dies, or well.. I feel completely useless.. and then remain so.

I often rebuked myself for "letting a unicorn die". Why shan't I defend the poor unicorn? It's the fighting spirit that I need to seek at times like this. It's the character-building which I know is good for me.

But why is it so hard to do those things? Maybe it's easier to stay in bed an extra 15 minutes than to get up as soon as the alarm rings. Maybe it's easier to forgo a jog just because the sky looks overcast. Maybe it's easier to give an excuse than to instigate an initiative. *Easy?* I think I just abhorred that word.

I think I have slacked enough. I shall do something about this. What I may need is to ignite the motivational fuse at the prefrontal cortex of my brain.

I just need to remind myself that nothing in this world is ever easy; similar to nothing is ever free. There's always a catch. Every time we do something easy, we are unknowingly shackled at our legs with balls and chains. Try swimming or running in that situation. Either you sink, or you fall; there won't be any glory.

So how would you lift yourself out from such a mess? Well, you could struggle back to survive, or stand up and carry that burden with you all the way without any fuss about it. Above all, I think you need to believe. Nothing is impossible. We are all humans, we are not perfect, everyone has fallen short before. Don't feel inferior. We just need to pick ourselves up, and fix our eyes upon the goal that we are aiming for. Sometimes we all just need a good reminder that easy stuffs may be attractive, but a good hard work gives satisfaction.

People with religion should be happy, because they can always turn to a higher power and pray for guidance or help. Sometimes when I am troubled, and when I am weary, and when I feel lost, I find my purpose again when I speak to God. It may be easy for skeptics to scoff this idea. But if you would try to believe, you would experience what I feel or what I see, in this relationship with Him.

double-sided knife

One thing we can never let ourselves assume is how hard of soft a texture of an apple is. Using a fruit knife, you might end up injuring yourself, particularly if the apple is too soft.



Just like when you hurt someone's heart deeply... you could end up hurting yourself;
especially that which belongs to someone who trust their heart in your hands...

NOT this Apple

THIS Apple

breakfast thoughts

Life in UK has not been bad so far. Living abroad teaches us plenty of things... of choices we make... of routes we take.

Whatever we do, there are either two types of decisions... being involved OR being committed.

I would like to share something I heard today....

It has something to do with the English breakfast below...

Bacons and eggs.

The chicken was involved. BUT the pig was committed.

Which one describes you? Are you a chicken or a pig?

into the door

In a little town of Nottingham, that's where I will be in the next 2 years... perhaps more? Rain; of drizzle kind are a common coming. A brolly (umbrella) in a bag is a really good idea. A coat; preferably something waterproof which can keep you warm is a fantastic idea.

Nottingham, a city of history; of Sherwood forest, Maid Marian, and Robin Hood. The art of 'stealing from the rich and giving to the poor' thankfully (or not?) does not occur. When we will be sleeping; the droning sound of little pat-o-pat outside helps us drown further into sleep.

If we are out in this sort of weather, people like me may be tempted to use the umbrella. Locals; more often than not; choose to battle against the annoying-shiver-inducing droplets. The use of an umbrella basically labels yourself as an outsider... somewhat so. But at least it would keep me dry.

But....


I wondered, I contemplated; and I was curious; to be part of this country, I would need to blend in. So, on the next occasion; the umbrella and I would switch position. I will instead take the drops while shielding the umbrella. I shall be wet; and my umbrella shall remain bone dry.

Perhaps, in the coming weeks, I would start not to take notice of the rain anymore. I would see things differently, with a new set of 'eyes'.

butterfly effect

The butterfly effect is a metaphor that encapsulates the concept of sensitive dependence on initial conditions in chaos theory; namely that small differences in the initial condition of a dynamical system may produce large variations in the long term behavior of the system.

- Wikipedia -

I spotted a trapped orange butterfly fluttering against the window pane over the kitchen sink. I knew it yearned freedom, for the sun was outside, shining brightly over the flower hedges. I decided to open the window as wide as I could. Nectar was aplenty at that time of the day - it was just before noon. Lunch time should be near. All creatures share the same eating times right?

I was heating mine over the stove. Steam accumulates quickly in the kitchen. So, I had the exhaust fan on to flush the steam out.

The butterfly was still oblivious to my goodwill. It was still struggling to see past the barrier which was the glass window. I tried to shoo it towards the opening. It was the last thing I wished I had done. Next thing I knew, my hands were cupped over my mouth as I shrieked OHMYGOODNESS!

The sound of terror - like the sound of a zzzapppp! - like the sound of paper against some heavy machinery - diluted each of my senses, shrouded me with guilt.

I off the fan, and naively looked out the window, hoping that the evaporated, disembodied flying fairy could somehow have coalesced back together. But to my horror, none of such.

Just like that... so tragic... so fragile...


Take this lesson to heart... to the rakyat, we live in a beautiful country. Don't let one word be the instigator, be the fuel to fire, to cause a storm... a pyrostorm in this multiracial muhibbah nation of ours. Thank you.

Faith walks

Born without front legs around Christmas 2002, Faith the puppy was rejected and abused by her mother. She was rescued by Reuben Stringfellow, who had been asked to bury other puppies in the litter.

Reuben turned Faith over to his mother, English professor Jude Stringfellow. At first the family had to carry Faith to keep her off her chest and chin. But with peanut butter and practice, Faith learned to walk on her two hind legs.

Today Faith is a brisk, upright walker. When she runs, every so often she adds a hop or skip to her step, but she stumbles less often than most humans. She takes vitamins and joint supplements, and vets have declared her very healthy.

They get more than 200 letters and e-mails a day, run a Web site and make dozens of appearances every year, including stops at veterans' hospitals across the country to cheer injured soldiers.

For many, Faith brings a powerful message about overcoming adversity. "Faith has shown me that different is beautiful, that it is not the body you are in but the soul that you have," Jill Salomon of Montreal, Canada, wrote on Faith's Web site.


"She just walks around barking and laughing and excited to see them all (Soldiers). There is a lot of crying, pointing and surprise. From those who have lost friends or limbs, there can be silence. Some will shake my hand and thank me, some will pat her on the head. There is a lot of quiet, heartfelt, really deep emotion."

- Jude Stringfellow -
Owner, Friend, Family

But Faith's most emotional reunion — with Reuben Stringfellow, who rescued her 7 years ago this Christmas — will have to wait for January. He's already gotten Faith a birthday present: a peanut butter cookie with her name on it.

Adapted from Yahoo

viva la vida

"This is something we should all read at least once a week."
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio.

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:"

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

- Taken from AK -

still searching

In life,
we keep going forward.
Our past as the Bible,
our future, destiny.

Along the way,
our journey,
fills with beautiful sights and sounds.

Life's miracles,
maketh us feel blessed.

But,
the road we take isn't straight.
It's winding and there are many intersections.

Every wrong turn
is a mislead,
a misfortune.

But every wrong turn,
adds a new chapter to our Bible,
and with learning,
a better future.

- JeKylL -

the RC boys

One of the many things I learnt back in VI was perhaps character. 7 years in that school have prepped me to become someone capable of withstanding the mightiest of adversaries. I have learnt that "No" is not an answer I can attune to. To me, it does not carry any meaning whatsortever. When you say "no", you will only be spurring me to another unknown level that I am willing to venture into. When you say "no", I will take it as a challenge. And I can't turn down a challenge...

I love running in the rain. The only problem I have is that I am afraid of getting my shoes all sodden. So for the sake of my shoes, the most ideal rainy-day-runs would be a light drizzle which is enough to completely wet my hair say... after 4 minutes.

Running under the swollen clouds is also so much more cooling. You could be sure that you won't be overheating your 'motors' and muscles excessively and may even run that extra mile. However, without the right warm-ups, you might as well forget about running. It's like starting a car. You got to make sure the engine is hot enough; not too cold.

Anyway, for me, I always find an amazing bliss running in the rain. It reminises me of school. The rain always seem like a reprieve from the blistering sun. It's like the Heavans opening up, sparing us young men from the heat strokes easily suffered from enduring the physical activities our seniors put us through. There were many times which I relented to the unceasing seemingly meaningless torture I put myself through. When I was told to step into the line of fire, I did. When I wasn't, I did as well. Wtf right? But I am so glad I had done all of it. I am so glad that I have been taught this simple life lesson. It's all about unity. Friendship. Sticking together no matter what. You jump, I jump.

I was watching Band of Brothers last week. The first two episodes clearly depict the lifestyle us guys had to manage. It wasn't as tough as those military jocks. But it was hard enough for us 13-15 years olds. Push ups (knuckles with sharp pebbles in our grasps were pretty tough). Jogging in leather shoes. Those were the days. If you ask if I was toughen up by that exposure, I will say absolutely. There's nothing left we can't face.

Jog log: 3.5km in 21 minutes (Pretty much similar to last run. But stopped because it was getting dark - I was stepping into too many puddles. Oh and lesson #83 - Always tie you shoelases tightly. You don't want them to come loose during your runs!)

phew....

On Saturday, I have decided to do a bit of cardio - to give my stamina a big test. So I headed to the 'Green Lungs' of Wangsa Maju. It's a hilly area where the route can be as steep as 35°. As expected, there was a lot of huffing and puffing going on.

This time, I tried to give my muscles a lot of straining; but careful not to give myself a hamstring/hernia injury. I only stretched them to the limit I was comfortable with, with each long strides.

Jog Log:- 3.8km in 32minutes.

While jogging, there are really lots of things going on in your head. A real cocktail of mashed up stuffs bouncing about in that skull of yours. So to control whatever manifestations I subconsciously conjured up, I count... I count just about everything - the steps I take, the distance, the occasional joggers I passed, but not the time; that's hardly motivating. Somehow I feel a sense of accomplishment when I do my own counting. It keeps the mind away from the struggles I am facing. So that's tip #51 on this post of Guide to Jogging - Always count on your way up to the mount.

After that, I dropped by at the newest mall in Wangsa Maju - Wangsa Walk.

Calcutta smiles

1. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

2. Each one of them is Jesus in disguise.

3. Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.




4. God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try.

5. If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.

6. If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.

7. It is a kingly act to assist the fallen.

8. It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.

9. One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.

10. We are all pencils in the hand of God.

-Quotes by Mother Theresa-

get inspired today

Shame on you. This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're going to let it be the worst. And I guarantee a week won't go by in your life you won't regret walking out, letting them get the best of you. Well, I'm not going home. We've come too far! And I'm going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause. A day may come when the courage of men fails... but it is not THIS day. The line must be drawn HERE. This far, no further! I'm not saying it's going to be easy. You're going to work harder than you ever worked before. But that's fine, we'll just get tougher with it! If a person grits his teeth and shows real determination, failure is not an option. That's how winning is done! Believe me when I say we can break this army here, and win just one for the Gipper. But I say to you what every warrior has known since the beginning of time: you've got to get mad. I mean plum mad dog mean. If you would be free men, then you must fight to fulfill that promise! Let us cut out their living guts one inch at a time, and they will know what we can do! Let no man forget how menacing we are. We are lions! You're like a big bear, man! This is YOUR time! Seize the day, never surrender, victory or death... that's the Chicago Way! Who's with me? Clap! Clap! Don't let Tink die! Clap! Alright! Let's fly! And gentlemen in England now abed shall know my name is the Lord when I tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our Independence Day!

on abeyance... but this has to be here

Normally,
I wouldn't feel bad doing anything.
I live by THE motto;
No regrets,
No perhaps,
Just Do It.

But,
Having a good reputation doesn't mean anything;
if you can't feel good about yourself...
if you know what you did was absolutely wrong...

You just have to accept that you are the catalyst;
one which we can hope never to be available for use again;
or one which has a low turnover rate;
Perhaps sodium channel blockers may help against the pain.
You are strong.

Don't do today what you can never undo tomorrow.

let's talk physics

(Universal Gravitational Constant, G = 6.673 x 10^-11 N m²/kg²)

Have you seen the above formula before? It's Newton's universal law of gravitation. this law extends gravity beyond Earth. This means Newton's law of universal gravitation is about the universality of gravity. Not only that, according to Newton, ALL objects attract each other with a force of gravitational attraction.

So, if we manipulate this formula, you could calculate the Force of attraction say... between Grinch and trees (assuming you know their masses).

Supposed, mass of Grinch, M = 60kg (Well I am, in case there are any doubters out there!)
And mass of trees, m = I dunno... maybe 2.0 x 10²⁰kg
And the distance between me and the centre of those group of trees, r = 20m

So, if we input those data into the formula...

The Force of attraction between us is 2.0 x 10⁹N or 2.0 x 10⁹kgms-² (which is quite high)
So meaning, I love trees! :D

This means, if we increase both M & m, (not just in our diet), the two objects will have a higher force of attraction. Can this apply to your other half, you asked?

Just visualise, if you and your partner have massive M & m, it can mean both of you will be attracted to each other more than if you are both so skinny. This is assuming if both of you remain close (r) though. So keep your r close if you want sparks to continue.

Next time if your girlfriend asks if she looks fat in her new dress, quickly input the above formula in your head, reduced the r (move closer to her), and tell her that she's not and she looks beautiful.

Let this formula be your guide.

See! Physics is fun!

lego

When we are facing the harshest of life's moments i.e. losing a friend, break ups, failures, divorce, job loss or career termination, grief, or even losing to Liverpool (sighs)..., we go through a series of emotional stages while dealing with the trauma.

1. Denial
First, we deny everyone's accusations and remarks including that of our own. We claim everybody is wrong and curse ourselves for believing what they may say. We will hide from the world; shut our ears; cringe at our weakness; but this only means we became more stubborn. Remember, denial is just a river in Africa.

2. Anger
This is the point when we start blaming everyone; including those who stood by our side. Worst is when we start blaming ourselves no matter how ridiculous it may be or sound. We must learn to overcome this resentment, lest hatred may consume our soul.

3. Bargaining
I say this is the hardest stage to escape. During this stage, we begin to wonder all the what ifs and what could haves. We begin to pray or seek divine intervention; to make promises for that ONE more time to undo what was already done. This negative energy could instead be used for more proactive stuffs.

4. Depression
We begin to realise that perhaps nothing left could be done. We swell up inside; emotions gravitate to our very core of our soul. We begin to crave attention; to be comforted; but we end up storing all the feelings and thoughts inside till all our visceras feel as though they may crumble or implode from the inward pressure.

5. Acceptance
Finally but not without a fight, we succumb. It's the most energy-sapping stage. We realise that fate is no more in our hands. It was probably meant to be so; written in the stars; planned by God... but still without a good reason why it happened at all. This is letting go; moving on. It will all get better in time...

red stuff

Things worth reminiscing...

Sorry Terry... Thank you Terry!

Things just worth forgetting...

Oh Danny! Oh Super Cup!

Things worth looking forward to...

*bites scousers*

don't just give me roses...

Sometimes being loved isn't enough
if we aren't appreciated...