pacesetter

At the moment, I feel the fittest in more than a year. Not much by the sound of it. But that was because I was running in many races last year. Mostly 5.0km distances, one half marathon. Yesterday, I ran 5.0km for fun.. in a time of 30:52 minutes. I would give myself a pat on the back for it. However, I can still do better. But sometimes I wonder whether is it possible to push myself further up another notch.

At rest, my heartbeats per minute (bpm) can reach 84. That's actually a bit on the high side. A 'normal' person's bpm is 72. And, athletes' bpm can be as low as 60. It's either I am always restless, (my blood pressure is normal) or I don't have a strong heart. Sometimes it does scare me. But I wouldn't get that to my head. I think I know my body's limit. If I can't set another foot forward, I should recognise it. I should mention that 'should' is a word I hate. It's intimidating, and even condescending.

There are many times in which I tried to test the limits of my barrier, but not necessary punching a hole in it. I will run fast, hard, even though there's a possibility that I can't oxygenate my vitals enough. Usually prior to that, I will feel my body heating up - hence I would be pulling my sleeves up - to cool myself passively. When my body's warnings are still unheeded, I will start to yawn continuously, as I slowly feel light-headed... ... ... ... ... ...

Those are risks and circumstances that I am aware of. But no pain, no gain right? I am ready to go beyond my comfort zone...

Today, I met up with some friends from school. Karoake-ed and watched The Ugly Truth before heading home. I still have lots to do for the orientation. I already feel less committed - still bittered that I had not done enough (apparently - in the eyes of my classmates) - to lead the society... sighs. And yet, I don't want to fail... for my sake... not anybody's else.