poops

Everything is so hazy, fuzzy. It feels like a drill being thrust up my right ears and the adjacent temple to it. In my head I was like a broken radio, like a wrecked stereo.

Like when you have your index finger into your ears; it was like that. I was speaking too soft, and I had no idea about it. When I was singing, I suddenly realised, my pitching was all over the place.

Funnily enough I was not too concern about my hearing.. or by the fact that if I were a bat, I would totally be flying into trees, and hunting insects would be a problem for me.

I lost my head.

I keep telling myself everyone poops. It may be painful at first, it may deliver relief... but it sure is messy.

not just about the mangos...

Campus was looking a whole lot like home today. The gorgeous weather brought warmth everywhere while the indian summer sunlight carved through every nook and cranny of the campus, leaving a certain glint, and sparkle, to be reckon with. It's my fourth and final year from yesterday onwards. Compared with last year, we are somewhat more comfortable, chilled, and familiar with our surroundings, the people, and the culture. From when the juniors came I watched them learn to crawl, urged on by many supportive "parents", till they learned to take baby steps. They stumbled a few times along the way, with unfamiliar faux pax, but with exceptional curiosity and yearnings. It reminded a lot of ourselves.

It's nice to just sit back and just watch how they handle and enjoy their third year. It would be interesting whether they will end up like us.

push

Perhaps my most debilitating handicap would be to allow myself to be fooled into thinking the very best things in life would never happen to me. Such certainty and sureness may be underlined by my paradoxical intuitive nature. There are times when I am at a bowling alley, only to hope that I can proof myself that I wouldn't get a strike just because I know I can. I sometimes wish I could negate these negative thoughts, but then again, I hope not to be left like a chicken being reared as a 'pet'. False hope is perhaps worse than being given the bad news early on. I rather a quick pull of the band-aid. However the case, if only I could ensure both of them could cohabit, and that I could clearly see them as a balance.

My admiration for people who never seemed to be under pressure, never ceased. They always seem to know what to do at times of crisis and chaos. Who would be able to see the silver lining of a wet beach day?

I guess we are all inclined to desperately push ourselves to please others, to be respected in the eyes of our society. But perhaps, it is best that we dutifully try to make our ownself happy for a change. With significantly less effort than I normally should I have, I forgo pampering me. Sometimes I don't remember or don't know what I want...

...till I have it in front of me...

...or till it's gone...


Even if something seems so improbable; so far beyond your reach, do PUSH..

Pray Until Something Happens.

hope

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,





And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

let these remain..

I still have vivid memories of that September day 10 years ago. When news of two planes crashed into the world trade center, it abruptly interrupted other programs on the news channels. It interrupted whatever the rest of us were doing. Around the world, people stuck in traffic tuned into their radios, office workers perhaps went online to get the latest scoops and news, even classes in schools might have been affected with absentees.

The world was largely at a standstill.

There was something so unreal about the captured images and videos by amateur cameramen. People were in a public panic pandemonium. They were running about, screaming, crying, disorientated, lost, with the look of disbelief in their eyes. No one knew what was going on.

Fire, and smog enveloped the city skyline, and dust shrouds visibility. Survivors covered in dirt and blood walked the streets in down town, aimlessly, confused as most of us were. I blinked blankly as the newscaster was presenting the report. It just seemed so unreal to me, like a nightmare. I was only there 5 years earlier for a holiday.

"What can we do?"

This is the questions most asked. People asked the rescue team. People asked the paramedics. People asked the police. People asked the politicians. People asked themselves.

"What can we do?"

As I have quoted in my previous post, we are all connected. At times, in times of need, when the world just needed help standing, when all people needed was hope, when we all needed something to believe in. We are all one. We are all united. We are all bound together.

People just want to help.

It's our nature, to step up and be counted. For that day, man's strength and faith were tested. For that day, when doubts were cast upon people's love for humanity, someone stood up to challenge and prove that we are not alone, that a hero can rise from the darkest of days.

That someone is each and every one of us.

For when the towers collapsed, amidst the rubble and ashes, two phoenix rose, and with them, the power of faith, hope and love.

out from sunshine

Something has struck me the other day, and I was thinking. When would the world ever be peaceful? What are the basis of humans' obsession for violence, till news channels are always over-flooded? The anger, the anguish, the fear... all too much to bear. Do we not have moral compasses when we do what we do? Are we all born to be self-righteous, selfish, and self-reliant?

Some cynics claim that there's no heaven on earth, and no utopia can exist with man...

There's a famous experiment conducted to test how altruistic a person could be, given some money a subject is presented to them. Alright, supposed you are given an orange. If you have a friend who didn't know you were given the orange, how many of the 10 slices (just an arbitrary value) would you have given, if any at all?

Most people would say they would give about 3-4 slices.

Okays. But say you are given an opportunity to charge your friend, say 1 slice of an orange. How many would you give, if any at all? Or would you rip your friend off?

Most people would say they would give about 1-2 slices.

In the third situation, if you are given an orange, and if you knew your friend also has an orange, how many slices would you give?

I guess it's none right? Or you might even take a slice or two from your friend. Suddenly, you are no more as generous.

C'est la vie. It's all about emotions and empathy.

I have been following lots of modern history of late. The struggles men had over one another, the greed and rise in power, usurpation, the murder of innocent lives; all are the cause of man's own downfall... our own downfall.

These were mankind at the very lowest depths, now only a reminder, and a warning to the rest of us. Were there not empathy then? Only the selfish kind of course. Apparently empathy is probably not extended to "aliens" or people who has no blood ties or relation to the perpetrators.

70 years later, and 10 years after black Tuesday on that September morning, the world still seemed in peril, a scary place to be in.

But there's always the other side of the card. Something good did came out of every disaster.. a silver lining. I believe that all man is good, that even the most diabolical one has a conscience, telling them what is right, and wrong. It may just be their judgement which may be misconstrued.

When the earthquake and nuclear disaster hit the shores of Japan, when the Russian hockey team was killed in a plane crash, when Lybia was liberating themselves from tyranny of their leader, those things got the world to empathise them. When people see those things happening, they feel the hurt those people are going through.

The world would then pour in their funds and aids, or any other forms of moral supports, and kind sympathies. People willingly feel the hurt when they see others in vulnerable situations, or going through a struggle. That's why we always have a strong feeling to root for the underdogs. That's why we can show we care for people who sometimes have doubts over themselves.

Also, why shouldn't empathy be extended to animals? They are our sub-bloodline. I feel warm deep down when I see videos of lions playfully wrestle with owners they have not seen in years. I feel touched when I see excited pets greeting soldiers who have come home from serving in the battlefields. I feel happy seeing chimpanzees who have been locked up all their lives, experience their first ever sunshine.

Technology has improved the way how we socialise with one another. As a result of Facebook, Twitter, etc, there are no more "aliens" now among us. We are all one. The six degrees of separation is even more true than ever. The world is getting smaller. As we all know, we came from the same two people. Maybe that's why we can and I believe if we try, experience brotherhood and sisterhood with one another. He never wanted us to feel different, as we are all created just the same.

May God's Love Be With You Always <3

finding

So, it is like this. It's summer my holidays, and I haven't got much to do. Sometimes I wouldn't mind, as I think I would recharge my batteries that way. I could read my novels and watch movies I always wanted to.

But on other days, I feel that I am too idle. And every time I said "I'm bored", I feel a unicorn dies, or well.. I feel completely useless.. and then remain so.

I often rebuked myself for "letting a unicorn die". Why shan't I defend the poor unicorn? It's the fighting spirit that I need to seek at times like this. It's the character-building which I know is good for me.

But why is it so hard to do those things? Maybe it's easier to stay in bed an extra 15 minutes than to get up as soon as the alarm rings. Maybe it's easier to forgo a jog just because the sky looks overcast. Maybe it's easier to give an excuse than to instigate an initiative. *Easy?* I think I just abhorred that word.

I think I have slacked enough. I shall do something about this. What I may need is to ignite the motivational fuse at the prefrontal cortex of my brain.

I just need to remind myself that nothing in this world is ever easy; similar to nothing is ever free. There's always a catch. Every time we do something easy, we are unknowingly shackled at our legs with balls and chains. Try swimming or running in that situation. Either you sink, or you fall; there won't be any glory.

So how would you lift yourself out from such a mess? Well, you could struggle back to survive, or stand up and carry that burden with you all the way without any fuss about it. Above all, I think you need to believe. Nothing is impossible. We are all humans, we are not perfect, everyone has fallen short before. Don't feel inferior. We just need to pick ourselves up, and fix our eyes upon the goal that we are aiming for. Sometimes we all just need a good reminder that easy stuffs may be attractive, but a good hard work gives satisfaction.

People with religion should be happy, because they can always turn to a higher power and pray for guidance or help. Sometimes when I am troubled, and when I am weary, and when I feel lost, I find my purpose again when I speak to God. It may be easy for skeptics to scoff this idea. But if you would try to believe, you would experience what I feel or what I see, in this relationship with Him.

humpty-dumpty

People always say we shouldn't moan of history, but rather embrace it..

No point feeling sorry for yourself...


I was just done with my grocery; so I unpacked and arranged them nicely into the fridge. As I was still unpacking, I heard something dropped..

My kitchen floor immediately became flooded with the very contents of the bottle. I wonder how this could have happened! It was as if the bottle of milk stepped out of the fridge's door shelf, and like humpty-dumpty, fell a great fall onto my kitchen floor...

I wished I could have seen it happened. The bottle of milk must have not known Newton and the rules of gravity. No matter how badly of a position I probably placed the bottle onto the shelf, gravity would and should have kept it in an upright position.

I checked the shelf. No secret trap door which I should know about.

I opened the cap of the bottle. The seal was still intact. It's so sad.. all that wasted dairy! I guess this means no cereal this week.

Some crazy guy once said we shouldn't cry over spilled milk. That guy didn't need to do the cleaning-up on his own.. :(